Thursday, August 6, 2009

Suddenly its Thursday

Times flies. A cliche, yes, but sometimes very true. Lately I've been thinking I'd like to sloooow things down - some things. Like when the day is over and I spent half of it being gloomy and short-tempered. Then I perk up and its after dinner and I wish the night wouldn't end. Then there are some events that can't come fast enough - like my next treatment (Ick, I know, but I am anxious to get this show on the road - no matter how shitty I feel). I also think about the break between my treatments - and hoping I'll feel well enough so Thierry and I can go somewhere.

I know, live in the moment - I've been trying to practice this. Especially when I am doing mundane things. Instead of letting my mind wander all over the place -thinking about treatments, vacations, getting a wig - I try to catch myself and think about what I am doing, where I am walking, enjoying the scenery and what's going on around me, using the time to blank out.

Well, about yesterday. We paid a visit to Fox Chase (Philadelphia's cancer center) and I saw a Dr. Gupta (not Sanje) and Dr. Lori Goldstein. They basically confirmed that the treatment I am receiving is the first line of treatment for recurrent BC. Generally, carboplatin is not included, however, they could understand why Dr. Mitchell would add this to my treatment plan - hitting it hard in the beginning. They do not have any trials going on at this time that I could enter. She did tell me about a trial going on now at Penn, which I probably could not enter since I just started treatment. Penn is evaluating PARP inhibitors (I don't know all the details). These are drugs that have shown very promising results in fighting triple negative breast cancers. This is a Phase II trial, where they test the drugs safety and efficacy. The drug would then have to go to Phase III, then onto the FDA (most likely) for approval. This would be something that I would like to plug into - we'll see what happens.

We then went to my sister's house. What an event that turned out to be. Father Gus joined us and Jean had also invited Father Kevin - who wasn't sure he could come. Lauren made a super fruit salad, while Jean prepared chicken, the Spanish way. She lightly floured and browned the chicken (in a little olive oil). I believe she removed the chicken from the pan (Jean you'll have to jump in here). At some point she added tons of garlic, bay leaf and dried red peppers, chicken stock and brandy. She put the chicken back into the pan and let it all cook together. After we finished my sister Ann and her fiance, Juan, came over and joined the table - and then Father Kevin came. Let me tell you, it was all so good there wasn't an ounce of anything left! Not even the sauce. We went through an entire French baguette sopping it all up! We had a good time. I haven't laughed in a while, but did last night.

After dinner, Jean shaved my head. Thierry wanted to take a picture, but I wasn't up for it. I thought it would be easier this time, but it was actually more difficult to deal with - I think that surprised me. I truly believe my ears are bigger now than they were in '05! Maybe it's because I am thinner.... maybe it's because I'm older and they've grown; but I feel like I look like Nosferatu! I guess I'll get used to it - I really don't think I'll have any choice.

I walked a lot today - about 60 city blocks altogether. I looked at wigs at Jeff - they'll give me a free one. If I like either of the 2 I picked out - I'll take it to my hairdresser for a trim. I did wear my new hat today, and really felt pretty fine in it. I went to lunch with my friends and neighbors (Barbara and Faye) - and again laughed and thoroughly enjoyed their company.

Ann came and we worked for a few hours - I cooked dinner - stuffed peppers - and now I am relaxing in front of the TV. Thierry is in Maryland - he took C-Minor down and will return on Sunday. Lauren and Mike move to her their house tomorrow so I'll spend time with them - supervising, of course!

My writing over the next few days may be sporadic, depending on how busy we are and how fast the day goes. And I hope all of the good days, like yesterday and today - and all the partially good days go very slowly!

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