Sunday, October 25, 2009

We Are What We Do

I have work. My friend just secured a contract for a consulting project and I will be working with her. It is an interesting project and most likely will be completed within 30-45 days. There is also a possibility some other work may come my way before year end.

When I received the news about the cancer, I had thought about whether or not I should continue working. At one point I actually said I would never work again. I keep remembering what the doctor at Fox Chase said, “Enjoy life, if you don’t feel like cleaning the house, hire someone”, which I did.

I really don’t know how much time I have (ok none of us do), yet baring the proverbial beer truck taking me out, my time is somewhat limited by the success of the drugs I am taking and the development of new drugs down the road. So the question is, how do I spend my time? Do I spend it working, or should I be thinking about all those exotic things people are supposed to want to do when they have a terminal illness? I mean if someone told you your days were numbered, what would you do?

One very limiting fact as to how I spend my time is the treatment itself. I am not sure how many more months of the 3-week cycles I will have to undergo (we’ll find out after we get the results of the tests), however, I will have to stay on the Avastin for the rest of my life – or until something else comes along. That means going for an infusion every two weeks. I recently read an article in the AARP magazine about a man diagnosed as terminal as the result of a brain tumor, who is being kept alive by Avastin. He has been on the drug for a year.

The bi-weekly treatments will prevent us (or me) from taking long trips on the boat like we have over the last few years, and we won’t be able to rent a villa in Italy for a month. Yes, we can still travel and do things, just not to the extent we like.

So, although I don’t have any desire to sky dive, I am taking art classes and will continue them; I won’t mountain climb, and I like to work – think, talk to people, and interact on an intellectual level. I think working – good work on a sporadic basis, is a good thing! And frankly, I can’t envision changing my life that dramatically. I like my life and want to spend my time enjoying those people in it – especially Thierry and Lauren and my friends.

It’s been another good week.

1 comment:

JudyS said...

I am now more than ever convinced that, along with many other talents - not singing evidently - you have an incredible writing talent. Possibly it is your ability to actually articulate your profound thinking process. Bravo! Intellectual exchange (working could be considered that..) is key to intellectual well-being I think. You are so "right on" identify issues and resolutions that my comment(s) would so often be "Yes". Therefore I just don't send any comment. Know that I am smiling that you had a good week. Love you.