Today is Sunday, sunny but very cold; temperatures going down to the single digits tonight. This morning Thierry said he was sick of winter. I reminded him that it is one-third over. So for those of you who are suffering the winter blahs, keep that thought in mind.
I received a call on Friday that my new treatment has been approved by the health insurance provider. I will be getting a brand new, just on the market a few months, drug called Halaven. It is so new that none of the nurses I have spoken with at the infusion center have administered it, and they don’t have a supply at the hospital pharmacy. They do expect to have it by Thursday so I can begin treatment. Also because of its newness, no one knows what the side effects really are. In looking on line, it appears they fall in line with the rest; hair loss, fatigue, nausea.
The treatments will be administered two weeks on, two week off. Apparently it is an injection given intravenously (as opposed to a slow drip). This is a good thing as it means my time at the infusion center will be greatly reduced. Then it will be about settling in to the new normal.
I have to say the response from my new doctor has been terrific. She did explore trials to see if I could get into a Parp study. Unfortunately, the only study combines a Parp with carboplatin – which I developed an allergy to. Although they say some people can be desensitized to the drug, they refused to include me in the study. I have decided it is time to get a second opinion, and have selected a doctor at Penn to contact. We’ll see where it goes.
This is the first time I have not read my test results. I really don’t want to know what they say. I remember when Mike’s mother was going through treatment for lung cancer. There were a lot of questions I don’t think she asked. I thought then that I would want to know everything. And, up until know, I stayed on top of everything. I am not exactly sure what changed. I guess it’s about knowing what the outcomes ultimately are, and trying to maintain hope that we will beat the odds. I can’t focus on living, if I am focused on dying.
So, I’ll focus on exploring options for living – and trying to live each day the best that I can.
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