Saturday, October 2, 2010

Between the Two of Us

When someone tells you something in confidence, who do you tell? Do you keep it a secret from everyone, or do you have a list of your own confidants that you share the secrets of others with?

This is a conversation that Thierry and I have had on more than one occasion. I will admit that there are things I am told that I won’t tell anyone. Especially if the person says, “this is strictly between you and me”. Then there are things I might share with those who I consider a disinterested third party. I’ll share the story and most likely won’t name names. Then there are one or two people (namely Thierry and Lauren) I may share someone else’s secret with, especially if I think they won’t really care about the subject matter – or if it is something I want to work through. I know if I tell Thierry, the story will go no further – as a matter of fact, he most likely forgot about it three minutes after I shared the tale.

But then who will Lauren share the secret with? Will she keep it to herself or share it with her husband? Where will it go from there? I know there are things I absolutely cannot share with my sisters. And please sisters, do not take this as a slight. There have been times when things have been said that should have not been shared – period. I am sure we are all guilty – me as well! It just is how it is among family I guess.

Thierry’s tongue-in-cheek theory is that if you tell a woman something in confidence it is like a women saying no when she means yes (this statement could incite a riot!). Meaning that by saying the subject is confidential you are giving the go ahead to spread it around!

I do try not to talk about people’s personal lives with others. I am guilty of talking to one of my physical therapists about people in my life who cause me angst or who I believe I may have caused angst - and named names. Of course, I justify this by saying it helps me work through the issues that caused the angst in the first place – the listener just doesn’t happen to be an actual psycho-therapist.

I like to think when someone tells me “this is strictly between the two of us”, that it stays there – between the two of us. Conversely, I like to think when I tell someone something in confidence, it stays there as well. Perhaps Thierry would say if you don’t want someone to find out about something, just keep it to yourself.

I began my new treatment on Thursday. I receive an infusion of Avastin and Ixabepilone (Ixempra) which takes a total of 4 hours to administer. In addition I receive pre-meds and Zometa. It was a long day! The Xeloda issue (those are pills) still has to be resolved. The manufacturer told the social worker that it is covered under my medical plan. At first they (the hospital) tried to submit a prescription to the regular drug store who told us that they could not bill the insurer and it would cost me $5,000 for a 30-day supply. The social worker then tried the next level of pharmacy – who informed me yesterday that they cannot work with my insurer. It is now being reviewed by yet another pharmacy. Fortunately I was able to get my hands on a supply which should last until this issue is resolved. (Next stop Canada???)

It was also fortunate that I read the brochure and info sheets on the drugs. I learned that I am not supposed to drink grapefruit juice (which I have been doing lately), nor am I supposed to take folic acid supplements such as what is included in my multi-B vitamins. Keep this in mind the next time your doctor prescribes new medication for you!

The picture at the top of the page is of our rock-on-rock sculpture. We collected these rocks at the Roque Island Archipelago this summer in Maine. We thought they would make a fine addition to our balcony – and they have.

It has been a beautiful few days now that the storms have passed, and a great week – this is news you can share.


Barbara Gruenwald said...

Wishing you all the best of results with your new treatments.
Love to you, Barbara

JudyS said...

Love the sculpture! Hoping that it is not replacing dead plantings, but enhancing them. Seriously, are there any left standing? Miss Ya! Much love, J

Anonymous said...

I worry about the same issue. We recently had some friends who were telling us far too much about people in their lives. It obviously didn't take long to realize that they were probably broadcasting what we told them.

We stopped telling them anything and now wonder what is the point in a friendship when you cannot trust people with your more intimate thoughts.

In sum, there are very few people I can trust to keep a confidence. I know who they are and treasure them for that.

As a keeper of so many peoples secrets over the years, I realize what an honor it is to be a person to be confided in and not something to toss away in the next chit chat.