Somtimes a Simple Thank You is all it Takes!

Since it is the new year, I thought I’d write about something that everyone could add to their resolution list. That is, to say Thank You.
Something so simple, yet it seems that today certain courtesies are expected and don’t warrant acknowledgment. Or perhaps people are so preoccupied with getting somewhere or acting busy, that saying thank you is the last thing that comes to mind.

Times when people fail to say thank you include:

• when you hold a door for another person – although there are many people who are oblivious that there is someone behind them and they let the door slam on you, or again are in such a rush that they just let the door fly wide. 
• when you step out of the way – or make way – for a person to get through a small area; particularly for a person pushing a stroller or for a person in one of those automatic wheel chairs. Seems that both of these groups believe it is their right to make headway since they are in some way attached to a wheelie thing.
• when a waiter brings you something you asked for – or not. Seems many people feel that it is a server’s responsibility to take care of them while drinking or dining out and that the tip is thanks enough. I find if you recognize their routine efforts, waiters tend to be much more attentive and pleasant. 
• when you ask someone to bring you something – like your husband, daughter, sister, etc. Maybe being close to a person causes us to feel the thank you is assumed. It seems that older people especially feel it is their right to ask others to get them things and the thank you isn’t really considered. 
• when someone stops to let you pull out into traffic from say a garage or parking space, or lets you merge into traffic. I remember when I was little I wanted to be the one to wave and thank the other driver. Where did that go? It is even rare these days that people are so willing to let you in, even in a tight merging situation that often you don’t get the opportunity to say thank you. I like to do the wave – probably because I truly am appreciative when someone lets me in because it is so rare.

There are many other incidents and stories I am sure you are thinking of and can share relative to this topic. The last bullet was actually what caused me to write about it. People behind the wheel tend to be very unfriendly, preoccupied – especially when on the phone, and always in a rush. Maybe if we all slow down a bit and be more present, we’ll remember to say Thank You!

But there are times when saying thank you can seem trite; like when someone rubs your feet or leaves little packages of goodies at your door or secretly sends a book to your Kindle. How do you show your appreciation for those who go that extra length to make your life a little better. I’m working on that one.

The tree is down, the weather is cold and more snow is expected during the week. My goal is to get myself out of the house no matter how rotten it is. It’s been a busy but good week.

Bringing in the New Year



Annual Photo
 (All part of the Spain Trip contingent except Mom)

Happy New Year! It is already the 2nd and the year has started off on a good note – I feel good today! Even went to the gym.

I won’t write about making resolutions, I did that last year. The only observation I will make is that over the last two days I have seen in the paper and heard on NPR news people making resolutions for others. Editors and so called experts making resolutions for everyone from Angelina Jolie to Ben Bernanke. WHO CARES!

We have had a wonderful holiday. I dreaded the thought of getting chemo on the Thursday before Christmas. I would have asked my doctor if I could skip the treatment, but I didn’t get to see her. She was in a bad car accident and will be out of commission for a good while (dread!). I did manage to get an appointment for this month with a young oncologist I heard speak at one of the conferences I went to and am quite happy about that.

During my treatment we had a few visitors. Lisa R came for a bit, then Lisa M and Barbara H came and we played scrabble and snacked on Barbara’s wonderful cookies. Lisa wanted to give me a foot massage. Reluctantly I agreed. I admit I felt awkward; first in having a friend spend her time pampering me and second, because my feet are so awful from the chemo. What a wonderful treat that was! These visits give Thierry a break and help the eight hour treatment day go by quickly. I left in a great mood which lasted for several days. I was surprised at how good I felt the days following – better than I had after all the three previous treatments.

We celebrated Christmas Eve at home, having a spaghetti and clams dinner with Barbara and Barry. Kirk and Lisa joined us for drinks and Lauren and Mike came over to spend this night. On Christmas Day everyone rallied around and we had a great time and lots of food. I made another venison stew, Ann brought shrimp, Koniko made her incredible sushi, Jean made sautéed mushrooms with garlic and hot peppers, Joan brought snacks, Lisa made the salad, Lauren brought the Yule log! Joan also brought a game which kept us entertained for a bit and the conversation flowed. Lauren and Mike stayed over again Christmas night – another wonderful treat. Lauren and I fell asleep on the sofa watching the Wizard of Oz. Mike gave Thierry and I our most prized gifts of the season: a radio controlled helicopter for Thierry and a foot massager for me! We have used them every day since.

The first snow of the season fell on Sunday, close to a foot. We got a call that afternoon from Barbara, who suggested we all meet up at a bar for drinks then head to Lisa M’s for dinner. Normally I would have bowed out, but decided I wasn’t going to miss the fun of a first snow again (last year I hunkered down while Thierry went out). I was very glad I did, and managed to last for quite a while – although I was in bed by 10:00.

I had two days of meetings during the week and am thrilled to be working with an old chum that I haven’t seen in a couple of years. The project, if it goes off, should be a fun one, and working with Marian will be a wonderful experience.

We had dinner twice with my sister and her friend Teresa from Spain, who spent several hours over the week working on my feet.

Thursday was the family wine tasting. My brother and his wife came for the first time, which made it even more of a special event. The wines were from different regions in Italy, a sparkling, two whites and three reds. The food gets more creative and plentiful every year. Another great party and everyone seemed to be pretty sober when they left.

Friday morning I had a meltdown. Maybe it was all the activity that occurred during the week; maybe it was too much booze, perhaps the chemo. On top of that it was our second wedding anniversary so the guilt of being short-tempered and cranky only made me teary and more frustrated. Thierry and I went for a walk and picked up a scrumptious pound cake made by a friend of ours. It was good to get out in the fresh air and relatively warm weather. When we got back, I took a long nap. Feeling much better when I got up, we went out to dinner at a local restaurant to celebrate. I slept more when we returned, waking in time to prep a few things for New Year’s Eve. A few friends stopped by to join us in bringing in the New Year and watching the fireworks from our condo.

On New Year’s Day Thierry went to the Mummers parade while I went to join in a farewell lunch for Teresa who was returning that day to the Canaries. We will miss her terribly. Lisa M (what an angel) wanted to do my feet again, so she and Barbara came over and we played scrabble, which Barbara won, and I got a great massage. I awoke today feeling incredibly good and, as I mentioned, went to the gym for the 2nd time in about two months! I think the foot massage has more therapeutic powers than I realized.

If the year continues the way it started – it is going to be an outstanding one!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!



I wish all of you a day filled with friends, family, fun, too much food, lots of booze and much love!

Holiday Cheer

I was all prepared to sit down and use this entry as a bitch session, but last night I went to bed feeling pretty good and spent some time reflecting on the week.

Sunday we (almost the whole clan) had dinner at Lauren & Mike’s house so we could see their incredible tree and Christmas decorations. She made wonderful turkey meatloaves and Jean brought a cake to celebrate Thierry’s birthday, albeit a bit early. We all had a great time.

Monday I worked a bit and had a wonderful massage. Not feeling well over the past month and being cold all the time, I found myself constantly in a crunched up position. My neck and shoulders ached terribly and I felt that it had to do with my bad posture as well as the neuropathy. The guy I went to was wonderful! When he worked on my neck and around my shoulder blades you could hear things crunch and pop. I had to ask myself why I waited so long, and signed up for another session next week.

Wednesday we met Lauren and Mike at the train station and we all headed up to New York. The main purpose for the trip was to see John Stewart and a taping of the Daily Show, one of our favorite TV programs.

When we checked into our hotel we were given the option of getting a suite rather than two separate rooms. It was a great idea which we took advantage of. We had a two-bedroom, two-bath suite with a kitchen area, complete with an oven, microwave and refrigerator.

Shortly after we put our clothes in our rooms we took off for lunch and then went to the Guggenheim – one of our favorite museums in New York. Lauren and Thierry walked and Mike kept me company in a cab – my days of long walks are, unfortunately, over due to the neuropathy in my feet. The gallery had a show called “Chaos and Classicism” which looked at Italian, French and German art during the period between the two world wars. The exhibit was intriguing, and they had some magnificent early Picasso pieces that I adored. There was also a gallery of Kandinsky works from the period 1922-1933, another favorite.

After enjoying the exhibits, we taxied back to our hotel. We picked up beer, wine, cheese and olives and relaxed in our suite before heading to Tribeca. There we had a good dinner at Locanda Verde, a restaurant partly owned by Robert De Niro.

Thursday was the big day, when we were to see John Stewart. After breakfast we took a walk in the neighborhood and found a furniture store that carries a chair I was anxious to show Thierry. I thought it would make a great addition to our living room – especially since the chair we bought just four years ago seems to be falling apart. We ended up buying two and delivery is scheduled for January. I am so excited! They actually are recliners – but don’t look like recliners. Yes, I am at that stage where I need a recliner!

Everyone walked me back to the hotel then took off for Rockefeller Center. After their power walk, everyone met me at Macy’s. We walked around a bit, but it was bitter cold the few days we were in the City. We took a cab to Hell’s Kitchen where the studios are located and found an Irish Pub to warm up in.

 We had lunch and drinks (not Lauren, however) which made the two-hour waiting period to show time fly by. At one point a couple of regulars came in and the bartender started to mix Manhattan’s. Mike and I watched him, and having been satisfied that he knew how to make them, we ordered two. He made the Manhattans with Maker’s Mark (bourbon). They were great – although I think Mike is used to having his Manhattan made with Canadian whiskey. Bourbon is a little harder to get used to.

We enjoyed the taping of the show and got to see Mike Huckabee, who was John’s guest. Although I would never vote for him in any election, he can be a good interviewee. The show was a bit solemn as John wanted to talk about a bill Congress is ignoring, which would provide aid to the individuals who responded to the 9/11 attacks and are now suffering illnesses as a result.

Rather than go out to dinner that evening, we went back to our hotel, picked up some soup and egg and potato salads and brought the cheeses and snacks back out. The next and last day was a sunny one in the City, but still a bit cold. We walked around after breakfast, bought some books and then relaxed until check out.

Yesterday was Thierry’s birthday. Thierry took the Christmas Tree out of the box and set it up. I had a visit from two new house-cleaners. Oh JOY! They came in here and tore everything apart (well it seemed that way). Four hours they spent here, I am so pleased with their work. If they are willing to come back into the city – I would be thrilled to have them here.

We then picked up Kirk and Lisa and headed to the parent’s house for dinner. Jean cooked a wonderful meal with help from Ann and Joan. Juan made morcilla (blood sausage) and he found a kindred spirit in Thierry when it comes to this gastronomic delite. I did not try it but a few at the table did; some even liked it, including Thierry! Then we once again sang happy birthday to Thierry. Jean’s friend, Teresa, arrived from Spain on Thursday. Teresa is a reflexologist. There is nothing more soothing than having your feet worked on, and that is what she did. Oh I was in heaven.

When we got home, Thierry and I decided to go out for a drink – not something I do too often these days. We had a nice time at a local bar and got home before midnight. I then spent some time on the phone with my dear friend Barbara on the West Coast, getting to bed after midnight would you believe!

I went to bed with a big smile on my face with thoughts of what a great week it was!

PS:  Thierry finally got the lights to work on Curlew.  Here she is decked out for the holidays!

I am well aware of the fact that it has been two weeks since I wrote my last blog. We had visitors from Holland last week (that is excuse number one). The second excuse is that I have had a hard time getting myself to type as I have been pretty negative lately and feel that anything I write will be a downer. As I type this, I am also thinking that that is the reason I started this in the first place. Not to wax political or philosophical, but to share how I feel, both mentally and physically as I go through this treatment. It seems that I get very down a few days after my treatment – which is usually around the same time the side effects kick in.

Well, I have decided to write something and keep it positive, this time! I may write again in a few days but don’t promise that it will be a happy, life is wonderful, piece.

As I mentioned above, our friends Jeannine and Carl visited us for the first time in our new home. I think 1993 was the last time they were in the US. They are a wonderful couple who are fun to hang with. They are also very independent, and didn’t hesitate to go off and spend time on their own. I think they timed their trip well, as the city is resplendent in its holiday attire.

We took a ride out to Longwood Gardens in the suburbs to visit the only horticultural center in the Philadelphia area with an indoor conservatory. Spread over 1,000 acres, the development of Longwood began in the 1930’s by a wealthy businessman, Pierre DuPont. It had been a long time since I had been there, and was pleased that Jeannine (and Carl) seemed to genuinely enjoy the surroundings.

The weather was really quite good while they were here, with only one day of rain. Timing was also good as I had chemo on Thursday during their visit. This meant that I actually felt close to being human for most of the week. We had dinner with my folks and dinner later in the week with our friends Lisa and Kirk. They got to experience a Macy’s Christmas sale and saw the incredible show in the lobby of the Comcast Center – a must see if any of you come to Philadelphia.

They left on Saturday, and we were sad to see them go, but thrilled that they took the time to visit.

This chemo treatment went much better than the last. I guess my feeling so poorly after my last treatment had to do with being ill the week of my treatment. I have actually worked quite a bit this week, but do crash pretty early in the evening.

Thierry and I will pick up our tree from my sister’s basement this weekend (it’s a fake!), and gradually begin to decorate for the holidays. Thierry doesn’t like to put the tree up until (at most) a week before Christmas. Thierry put lights on Curlew which we should be able to see from our window – but something went amiss – maybe we’ll have a picture in my next blog.

The big news – which brings me great joy – is that Lauren is pregnant! I have pictures of the ultra sound if anyone is interest. I decided I will begin to brag now as I am not sure how long I will be able to brag when s/he is born – which may be around July 15th.

We are looking forward to a busy week. I have much work to do and we leave Wednesday for New York. We are going to the Daily Show on Thursday, which was made possible by Mike. Hopefully the weather stays around freezing (unlike our trip three years ago when it was 0oF) so we can walk and enjoy the city.

Today was a pretty good day… I’m hanging in there.

Thank You

As I sit here and gaze out the window watching the snow falling lightly in the city, I am thinking about the meaning of holidays and how they impact our lives.

Today, as Americans celebrate Thanksgiving, I suppose we should be thinking about all the things we are thankful for. I am sure, however, most of us are thinking about the cooking we have to do, how we are going to fit all the people around the table or packing the car to get us to our family dinner.

Hopefully we don’t need a holiday to remind us that we can devote small amounts of time each week (month or year) remembering our parents, giving gifts of time or other resources to those in need, and finding ways to let our friends and family know how fortunate we are to have them in our lives.

As I write this I know I am remiss in thanking all of my blog followers for reading my rants, commenting and showing support as I go through my cancer/chemo experience.

Thanks to all of you. May you be surrounded by those you love and your lives be filled with joy.

The Blahs and the Blues

It’s a beautiful Sunday morning. The sun is streaming in and I have plopped my butt down on the couch to take a breather and write my blog.
I take a lot of breathers these days. Since getting back from our trip, I have spent more time on the couch than I have doing anything else. Saturday and Sunday after chemo Friday were uneventful. I felt pretty much like myself. Monday I couldn’t get out of bed, although I made a great effort. I had a business appointment at 11:30 I was hell bent on keeping. I got up, took a shower, laid down, got dressed, laid down, forced some food, laid down, then put on my coat, got in the car and drove three blocks, parked the car, called my appointment and cancelled. I drove back home, got into my jammies and went to bed.

Tuesday wasn’t much better, although I did get dressed. I just had no energy. If I stood too long, I felt like I was going to drop, so another day of lying around. Again I had little appetite, and have lost about 10 lbs in two weeks (this has me a bit worried). Thierry once again was fetching me soup, tea, etc., and made a wonderful spaghetti and clams dinner.

I spoke with my physician’s assistant who suggested I come in the next day for fluids. When I awoke Wednesday I felt worse. I couldn’t walk very far without feeling faint, and once again had no appetite. When we got to the oncology center the PA called my doctor. They decided to give me a brain MRI and lung PT to make sure the cancer hadn’t progressed. Fortunately the tests came out negative. I went to the infusion center and had blood tests taken and was set up to receive fluids. By this time I was actually feeling a bit better and able to walk without assistance (Thierry was taking me to the various offices in a wheel chair!).

The blood tests all came out normal, giving no indication of what was wrong with me. The only thing I can assume is that this was a reaction to the chemo after having been ill the week prior. The PA had nothing of substance to offer, in fact, she made comments like: “Maybe you just can’t handle chemo.” She also shared the fact that another of their patients is receiving the same treatment and “she is handling it quite well!” As if I wasn’t depressed enough, her words were pretty damning.

The PA then decided, having not looked at my ears, nose or throat – or listened to my chest – to prescribe antibiotics. She just figured I must have something lingering that was causing me to be unwell. I decided not to take the antibiotics and made an appointment with my primary care doctor. The appointment was Saturday, and he could not find anything that could be causing my malaise.

There were several bright spots that shone through this miserable week. They were my friends and family that gathered round to support me. Lauren was here twice to keep me company. Ann came to get some work done and have lunch. My friend Barbara made the most wonderful chicken soup, better than any medicine a doctor could prescribe and took me to the doctor and food shopping. Faye came over to keep me company and brought wonderful bread to go with the soup. Lisa made me a sweet potato pie to help “pump” me up. A good choice as my mouth is very sensitive as a result of the chemo. My sister came and stayed with me one night as Thierry was away two nights bringing the boat to Philly from Baltimore.

Each day I feel a bit better, but not really well – not like myself. I have been fighting thoughts about death and dying all week, convinced that this is what was happening. I am trying to force myself to do a little more each day, and may take a walk this afternoon. I have business appointments tomorrow which I fully intend to keep, and am planning to get ready for the Thanksgiving holiday.

It’s hard sometimes, but I try to remind myself I am alive today, so I’d better make it the best it can be and appreciate all the wonderful people in my life.